C C & C Code #1: Coaching is not what you do, but who you are


In my experience, coaching is not something, if taken seriously, you can explain to someone in an elevator ride or even in a twenty-minute conversation, for that matter. Coaching is less practice than process. Less job description than mindset. It is having enough curiosity, skill, and insight to know not only when to ask questions, but to know where to ask the right questions as well as when or where to push, probe, or pull back so that the coached individual begins to coach himself into new or renewed thoughts and actions.


Coaching is an ever-evolving way of building and stoking a fire within individuals, couples, or teams so that they move from where they are to where they want to be.


“Coach” is who I’ve always been. Even as a little girl, I was able to help others accomplish things… learning to sing… to read… to stand up for themselves. In short, I have always had a little “coach” in me. As a friend, a wife, a parent, a teacher, an activist it was the “coach” that has made the most difference.


Over the years, I have interrogated who I am, who people think I am, and the pathways that brought me to my current state of being. I’ve grown more and more introspective; deeply probing those events and people who have informed my me-ness. Embracing myself, flaws and all, I’ve fallen more and more in love with myself. I’ve become more and more grateful for my steps as well as my missteps. I’ve coached myself.


So, how about you? Try answering the following:


  1. Who am I today?
  2. Who do people say I am?
  3. What pathways have I walked down?
  4. What do I now know/ believe about me?
  5. So, now, I will…

Go ahead…  It begins with you.  Coach yourself!








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