“What would you say to your child, if you saw/ heard her saying/ doing…?”
This is one of my most asked coaching questions. Why? As coach, I have come to know this…We lie to ourselves and make excuses. Most of us don’t value ourselves as much as we say we do. We don’t commit to being at our best. We don’t even think we deserve the best!
- I can’t work out. It hurts my knees.
- I can’t go back to school. It’s too hard. I’m too old. I’m not school material. It’s not for me.
- I have to stay in this relationship. It’s the best that I can do.
- I can’t write a book or blog. Who wants to hear what I have to say?
- I can’t change the way I eat. It’s the way I’ve always eaten.
- Girl, can you see my up on a stage? That’s for people like you!
- Run a mile? You want me to end up in a hospital?
- Save money? I live from paycheck to paycheck.
- I can’t take nice vacations. That’s for rich folks.
Every single day, we practice excuse-making, blaming, and other self- deprecating, self- limiting behaviors that we’d never accept from our children IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN.
“What would you say to your child, if you saw/ heard her saying…?”
“I can’t… “It’s too hard…I’m too old… I’m not school material… It’s not for me… I have to… It’s the best I can do… That’s for people like you … I can’t change…That’s for rich folks…”
You would probably move heaven and earth to get that kid moving and doing and thinking and being who you know he is intended to be. You’d help her start a fitness program or help her understand the kind of learner she is so that she can feel more successful at school. You’d get him into drama classes. Help her come up with plans for change.
In short, you’d help her have a more positive mind-set. There is no way you’d let your child continue excusing herself out of being the best version of herself. There’s no way you’d let him set limits on who he can be.
We know the following to be true:
- You are someone’s child
- Your child will follow your example, not your advice.
With these two thoughts in mind, I encourage you to stop lying, blaming, and making excuses. Talk a new talk and walk a better walk IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN. Show your children that you value them by valuing yourself. Do the work! Be the example by taking care of the “somebody’s child” you are.
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